A friend of mine, one who knows about the trans thing but doesn't have much of clue about the military, she asked me, "So when you deploy in a few months, what do you think is the most subversive thing you can do as a trans-woman?"
And this question, well, it bothered me a little. I hear folks talking about being "subversive." They mean to go against the grain, to do something that changes the world for the better. Now, I'm all for going against the norm in a way that helps people, that helps the world. What bothers me, it's when people get so damn smug about being subversive. Some folks think that when your secretly being weird, that automatically makes what you're doing a good, worthwhile thing.
Here's what I told my friend: "Look buddy, the best thing any queer in the military, or anywhere else for that matter, it to do her or his job competently, quickly, and cheerfully. Through hard work, people can make themselves indispensable elements, and at some point, when you are know to be an honest, hard working individual, well, maybe it will stop mattering whether you are straight or queer."
And of course, my friend looked at me like I'd said that if you just eat an apple a day, you will never ever ever get sick or hurt or sad.
Look, maybe I am being ridiculous. Maybe trans folk will never find wide acceptance in society. But Dear Reader, I will be fucked if I'm going to let somebody tell me not to do a good job just because it won't necessarily buy me the love and acceptance of everyone in the world. Some people are just bastards. If you let the bastards govern your life, well friend, you're something even worse.
No matter what anyone else's opinion of you is, I believe that it is up to you to decide what sort of person you're going to be. If you're going to be lazy, if you're going to shrink from responsibility, if you're going to let someone else handle the big It, well, that's on you.
I say fuck it. No matter what the consequence, I'm going to do my job as well as I possibly can. If that helps trans people, awesome. If not, too bad. I'm going to do my job, and every single other human being is free to decide how she or he feels about it. Nothing I can do to change how they feel.
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