Weekend Off

So, night shift again. The Fat Captain is prowling around, trying to figure out how to escape a day early for the up coming weekend. This will probably be weekend pass any of us get to spend with our families, so a lot of folks are flying their people out to the mob site. We aren't allowed to go back home, but it is Ok for us to bring people here.

Me, I don't have anyone coming. Oh, don't cry too hard Dear Reader, I've got some cool plans for the weekend. There's going to be beer, books, babes, everything a growing girl needs for a healthy progession into nirvana. I've managed to get a reasonable priced hotel in a cool area. I know a few locals who I want to hang out with, so I got no worries. 

And I think I'm going to girl out. Gonna girl out hard. If my wacky, hair-brained scheme works, I may even be able to grab another round of laser hair removal for my face before the weekend's out.

Let's, uh, let's just take a quick second to discuss exactly why I want some more laser hair removal. Of all the nonsense that goes along with presenting as a dude, having hair growing out of your face? It might not be the single most lame part of it, but oh, oh, it's up there. Don't even get my started on the in-grown hairs. It's bad enough that because of the sharp different between the color of my skin and the color of my hair, no matter how carefully and completely I shave, it always looks like I'm sporting a five o'clock shadow. 

Out side of the trans thing, outside of the layer upon layer of foundation I have to slather on to have the bearest hope of passing, the five o'clock shadow causes me trouble even here in the military. You see Dear Reader, in a given Army unit about a third of the personel are at any given moment doing nothing but looking for reasons to put somebody down. A great and easy way of attacking others is to louding and stupidly point out the ways in which they fail to meet the Army's standards of grooming. Basically, if somebody else's hair is a nanometer too long, if his beard is the least bit untamed, if his boots are less than mirrors(actually, now that we've moved to desert boots there's no more shining. It's the best thing in the world, but I worry about the sergeant majors. Bitching about the shiny-ness of boots seemed to give their lives such color and meaning. Now what do they have? Belts? Bitching about proper belts will never be as good as bitching about the shiny-ness of boots.) well, he's not as much of a soldier as the other fellow. That gives the other fellow power, which is usually immediately used to waste the first guy's time.

And it almost always looks like I forgot to shave. And that's real, real lame. Fortunately, I usually have about a month of freedom from facial hair after a session of laser hair removal. Hell, this might almost carry threw to July. I am psyced.

The only other thing standing between me and girling out hard this weekend is that I have no cloths or make-up with me. I could only carry stuff to the mob site that could safely be dumped out in front of other NCOs and officers. That means no lipstick, no eyeliner, no bras, no skirts, no tops, and no girl jeans. I have exactly two articles of civilian cloths, and both of them are decidedly made for the male wearer.

Now, I've been saving up my money, so there's no reason I can't buy a nice set of girl cloths and some lower end make-up and doll myself out nicely. The issue is, and I'm aware that this is going to sound silly, that I hate to buy cool cloths and then throw them away three or four days later. I just feel bad about it. Growing up I was always kept from owning the stuff that I actually wanted to wear, and now I have a hard time getting rid of anything I like. 

I supposed I could solve this by buying ugly cloths, but somehow I just don't see any money getting spent on that course of action. 

But I really want to girl out. I really want to be me for a little while instead of just participating in this role, this straight, friendly Christian, optumistic Army boy who I prentend to be. Oh, it'll be a relief to have a few days off from pretending to not be queer. It will probably even be enough of a relief to sacrifice a cool top(probably a black strappy thing of some description) and a hot pair of jeans, as much as it kills me to do so.

Comments

[Thel]

Having to get rid of nice new things would totally suck. Is there someone you could mail them to, who could hold onto them for you instead?

[FormerCombatQueer]

this is where i'm really afraid for you getting found. and yet totally know how you feel.

[Thene]

Have an awesome weekend. :D The clothes dilemma really does suck though...hope you can find somewhere to donate them, maybe?

I sometimes treat myself to a day of dressing-up in stupidly overpriced clothing stores and not buying anything, but I guess that's a million times easier if you're cisgendered ><

[Irene M.]

Sweet. Be careful of course, but you've certainly earned some fun.